If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

I attended four funerals this summer, all for friends or relatives. And there were two other folks who passed away who didn't have a service.

I was asked to speak at one service and as I remembered the adventures I had with the deceased, I was reminded of this saying (...at least be vague). No one is perfect. Everyone has foibles. The loved one I was eulogizing had her share of oddities, but I think I managed to put a funny spin on them. It wasn't until she was diagnosed with dementia that we realized some of those foibles were a manifestation of her disease.

It's hard to see someone you love deteriorate. I think all of us would prefer to spare our loved ones that agony. The choice is almost always taken out of our hands, though. So I guess it's best to live your life as though the next day might be the last -- because it might be.

I hope when my time comes, the details are vague....