When life hands you lemons....

...use them to squirt juice in the eyes of your enemies. 

               --Happy Bunny

You thought I was going to say "make lemonade," didn't you? Well, I don't know about you, but I think revenge might be more fun than sipping a cool summer beverage. Of course, if I was going to make a beverage with lemonade, I'd make a Bourbon Sling (recipe below).

What does this have to do with Zen-ness? How can those who strive for Zen have revenge in their hearts?

Remember when I said this blog was about "Zen in the Real World"? Sorry, but there will always be a small kernel of "I hope she gets what's coming to her" in all of us. It's hard to celebrate the successes of people you don't like. It's almost as hard as celebrating the successes of people you do like.

More to the point, though, is the term 'enemies'. How do you define that? I tend to divide people into the following groups:

• Group A: people I like. They have flaws, faults, and can be exasperating at time, but overall: I enjoy being with them.
• Group B: people I don't care for. They may be loud, obnoxious, boring, or depressing. I try to avoid them.
• Group C: everybody else. Believe me, the vast majority of the world is "everybody else." These are people you have to get along with for some reason, or people who cross your path, briefly or not. They can sometimes be group A and oftentimes group B. These are those unknown people who 'friend' you on Facebook or who follow your tweets on Twitter. You don't really know them, you're not sure you want to know them, but they're out there and you'll deal with them if you must.

Notice I didn't mention "enemies." I don't want to give anyone that kind of power over me. I don't want my emotions about anyone to control my perception of reality (you knew I'd get back to some Zen crap, didn't you?) If you let your emotions about a person (their unfair raise, their achievements, their wealth) twist your day, then they've won a little victory over you. So don't worry about them: don't compare yourself to them, don't envy their successes, and don't worry if you're not like them. They're probably in Category C, and if they are: they, like all things, will soon pass from your life. Don't sweat it.

And now, here's what you've been waiting for: the Bourbon Sling recipe.


1 tsp superfine sugar
2 tsp water
1 oz lemon juice *
2 oz bourbon whiskey
1 twist lemon peel

In a shaker half-filled with ice cubes, combine the sugar, water, lemon juice, and bourbon. Shake well. Strain well. Strain into a highball glass. Garnish with the lemon twist.

* Reserve some juice to squirt in the eyes of your enemies.