... but misery is optional.
Oh, I can attest to this one. I've been helping my elderly mother as she copes with emphysema. This is not a pretty disease. It saps your strength, it invades every waking moment of your day, and there is little anyone can do about it.
I'm 250 miles away, so it's hard for me to be with her a lot. I do go as much as I can, usually for a week at a time. I'm fortunate because I have a job where I can log in and work remotely, and I'm able to work around her doctor appointments, etc.
There are no good outcomes here, of course. This is a wasting disease and the most we can hope for is that she's comfortable. She's not happy being restricted like this. She's 91 and up until last year, she was totally active, in a restrained way: she played bridge 2 times a week, she went to club meetings, she could get her groceries. Now she sits in a chair and that's about it. Getting up and going to dinner is exhausting and takes it all out of her.
I hate to see this happen, but at least she's not miserable. She's not taking out her anger on the people around her. She's handling this with grace and dignity, and believe me, I appreciate that. Misery truly is optional, and she's doing every thing she can to keep her misery from washing over the people around her.
I can learn a lot from her. A lot.
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