Women think men will change after marraige. Men think women won't.

They're both wrong.

I recently celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary. My husband and I went out to dinner and I said, "Who would have thought, 25 years ago, that we would be sitting here, eating this, and talking about that?"

I walk a fine line between optimism and pessimism. I think of myself as a pragmatist, but I always have a sneaking hope for the best to happen and will strive to make that happen. My husband is an unabashed pragmatist. His feeling is that he'll give something 100%. If things don't work out the way he thinks they will, he'll walk away without a backward glance.

I won't say we've been lucky in our marriage. We've had to work to make things, well, work, and we still have bumpy times. But we don't argue bitterly, we don't fight over money, and we manage to get along pretty well, day in and day out. I married him after a divorce, when I was in my 30s. He was in his late 20s and, as he put it, 'tired of the dating scene.' I think we found each other at the right time: we both had ideas of what we wanted in life and when we found someone we could share with, we decided that was the right thing to do.

I know of many people in what I call 'toxic relationships.' They don't have a supportive spouse, or they tiptoe around their spouse, or they don't share the same views on some pretty important issues. That makes their lives not really their own. They end up worrying so much what someone else will think that they lose track of what's important to them.

Is someone in your life supportive...or not? How does that color your perception of the world? Is that relationship essential to your life? If negative, is there any way it could be changed? Imagine your life different than it is now.

Is that worth considering?